Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

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The Price of Invulnerability

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Being vulnerable with those close to you and with God is critical to having joy in our lives and being happy in life and at work.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.   Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;  don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.  Run to God!  Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!  (Proverbs 3:5-8  The Message)

I discovered this video presentation that helps us practically understand why God’s word encourages us to open up our lives at a depth we not accustom to, to share our lives more intimately than the world tells us we should, and be vulnerable with our lives with those we love and care for, including our Heavenly Father.  I hope you find it helpful.

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Vulnerability The Key To Overcoming Shame

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

 

Have you ever know someone who lives in the oppressive shadow of shame and fear?  Do you live in that awful place?

As a kid, I was small and was teased and picked on.  I wanted so bad to belong, to be connected, and be loved by friends.  Don’t we all; it is how we are wired and why we exist.  But, I was never big enough, strong enough, good enough, cool enough, worthy enough.  The result was I remained disconnected, and struggled for a long time with fear and shame.  I spent a lot of my childhood trying to figure out how to get connected, and during that time life was hard and I was not very happy.  I did not feel loved, and began to believe that I was indeed not worthy…of belonging or of love. 

I learned and experienced first hand that fear and shame are very powerful emotions.  As those emotions become more prominent in my life, I experience less and less joy, happiness, and gratitude.  I can remember being angry and expressing my pain and discomfort through becoming quiet, reserved, and even hardened, I began doing many activities alone, and became determined to prove that I was worthy of belonging and of being loved. Surely, if I became good enough, people would want to connect with me.  Well, as you might guess, that was only marginally successful, and only with kids who were really not my friends.

My story is a long one, and thanks to God I have learned that my real worthiness come from him.  That his love and grace is sufficient for me.  That his love for me is wide, far and deep. That, as a child of the living God, I belong to him and his family.  And, that true peace and joy comes from knowing him.  As I allowed God to work in my heart, he showed me and helped me embrace vulnerability and authenticity, he showed me it is OK to be imperfect, to have the courage to connect to others through kindness and compassion, the share authentically in their lives.  As I did this (lived authentically and vulnerably), I found myself deeply connecting with lots of people.  I valued them and they valued me; my fear and shame was replaced with joy, happiness, and gratitude. God made me wholehearted!

So, I encourage everyone to personally connect with God to discover your true worthiness, and how he wants you to connect with others and discover your own greatness as part of his family.

Also, I recently stumbled upon this terrific presentation by researcher/story teller, Brene’ Brown.  I think it might also be helpful to you. God’s peace!

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Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

Sunday, February 13th, 2011

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”   (John 14:1-4)

Picture this scene. You are one of those closest to Jesus. You are gathered with others close to him in an intimate room with Jesus. You are all enjoying good food and drink, sharing stories, and building more memories. You are thinking back almost three years when Jesus approached you and said simply “Follow me!”

You and the others had done exactly that; you left your homes, jobs and families and three years you all placed your hopes in Jesus. Even when many others had given up and turned back because they thought the cost was to high, the group now gathered, including you, had not. You had denied yourself, been through great hardship, and continued to put your faith in Jesus; you loved Jesus and were committed to following after him no matter what!

Then it happens. Jesus tells all those gathered that one of you would betray him. You are stunned. The room becomes quiet. Everyone is looking at each other and saying Lord? One of us? It can’t be!

But wait, it gets worse. Jesus then begins to tell you that he is leaving you, and that you will not be able to go with him!

Can you imagine how you would feel as you began to understand what Jesus was telling you? What would be swirling around inside your mind and heart? You had left everything to follow him, and now he was just going to leave, move on without you! Why was he leaving? Where was he going? Why couldn’t you continue to follow him? What would you do? What would happen to you and the group? How would you survive? You no longer have a home or any money. And what about the promised kingdom? It wasn’t supposed to end this way. In short, what the @#*%?

Would you agree that if there was anyone who had reason to be frightened, worried, and fearful, it was this group…the disciples, who had faithfully follwed Jesus for three years. All their hopes and dreams were being dashed in an instant. They had to be terribly confused and very fearful!

But, in steps Jesus. He knew how fearful and confused they were, for he himself had experienced being deeply troubled. As he contemplated going to the cross, he cried out to God “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour.” (John 12:27)

Jesus knew what was required to overcome fear, and knowing that his disciples were about to experience great fear and anxiety, he wanted to let them know what to do and to comfort them.  That is when he says to them:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”   (John 14:1)

Jesus instructs, even commands the disciples and us to not allow our hearts to be troubled.  This may sound harsh or abrupt at first, but think about it, Jesus would not instruct us in this way (give us this responsibility) if we did not possess the ability to do it.  And he says as much when he says “You believe in God; believe also in me”.  He is saying you can do this; you have what it takes; because you believe in God, you have the power and strength to handle this, it is within you!  He is telling us to take our eyes off of the situation and circumstances, put them on God and then him, call on his Holy Spirit for strength and courage, and to exercise our faith.

If we believe in the truths and promises of Jesus, who overcame the greatest fear, the fear of death, and we exercise our faith in him by knowing and holding onto the his promises, we too can overcome our fears.  We have access to the very same truths, promises, and power that Jesus called on to overcome death!  

But Jesus does not stop there.  After he intructs the disciples on how to overcome their fear, anxiety, and worry, he comforts them by saying I know you are freaking out right now and I know you think that me leaving is the absolute worst thing that could happen, but let me tell you why I am leaving.  He then says:

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”   (John 14:2-4)

Now just stop and picture what Jesus is saying to his disciples and to you and me.  He is saying there is no real reason to be fearful, but since you are please know this…I am going to heaven where there are many rooms, and in fact, I am going there to prepare a very special room for each of you.  And, in case that is not enough, also know that I am not leaving for good; I will come back to take you to that special room prepared just for you.  Do you think this changed things for the disciples?  Do you think that they might have drawn new strength and courage to overcome their fear knowing this?  Of course, and so can we!

And the last and greatest thing he says to his disciples and to you and me (in this passage) is that because we know him, Jesus, who is the way the life and truth (John 14:6), we know how to follow him there.  So, once again he utters(to his disciples and to you and me) the same words he said when they first met, ”Follow me!”

Believe in Jesus, put your faith in and follow Jesus, hold onto the truths and promises of Jesus, do not let your heart be troubled, be courageous, and call on the power that overcame death!  Do this and I believe with all my heart that you will find happiness in life and at work.

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Rest For Your Soul

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

I used to race bicycles competitively. From 1990-1997 I raced in over a dozen states. In order to do so, I trained regularly and rigorously. You may be familiar with cycling, if only from watching the Tour de France on TV. In cycling, the riders will form packs or groups to work together and conserve energy. Each rider taking a turn in front then slipping back to take shelter and rest until it is again their turn to “take a pull”. Riders in groups will even share food and water, knowing that they are stronger as a group.  They will watch after each other and work together in hopes that the group will be successful and make it to the finish ahead of the other riders.

In some cases riders who become fatigued get “dropped” from a group and are left alone. They may, for a while, attempt to work very hard to maintain the pace of the group, and even hope to rejoin the group, but invariably the physical and mental demands to maintain such a pace can cause them to “crack”.  At that point the wise tactic is for that single rider to drop back to another group, take shelter from the new group, rest, and recover.  If you race long enough, it happens to everyone. From experience, I can tell you that, when you are “dropped” and left alone, it is an awful feeling. The feeling of being “dropped” and left alone is difficult to overcome. The physical weariness is one thing, but mentally motivating yourself to continue and finish can be a great battle of will.

However, when another group comes along and you are able to join them, you become re-energized, refreshed, and recommitted to finishing the race. The new group accepts you,  welcomes and encourages you, provides you the relief and rest you need, they pull you along, they nourish you, and there is exchange of important race information and friendly conversation. They are just what you need to finish the race you started!

Something else I know from experience is that sometimes in life and in our careers, we can get “dropped”; we become both physically and mentally weary and fatigued; the burden becomes so great that we feel as though we just can’t continue or finish; we want to give up. In those times, God wants to be that group that comes along when we most need it. He will always accept us right where we are, there is always a warm comforting spot for us in his arms, he wants to give us the rest we need, he wants to renew our strength, he is “the bread of life and wants to nourish us, he offers the peace we are looking for, and he wants so much for us to talk and share our lives with him. He is the one who can help us, not just continue the race, but to finish it…and finish strong!

Go to him, find rest for your soul, and allow him to help you find happiness in life and at work.

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Leave The Stronghold – Enter The Land Of Judah

Monday, January 10th, 2011

 

“Do not stay in the stronghold. Go into the land of Judah” 

David is one of the most colorful and controversial people written about in the bible.  1 Samuel 22:5 is one of my favorite versus about David; I believe it describes why God called David “a man after my own heart”.  You see, David, even though he messed up a lot, had many fears, and was often beat down and troubled never stopped, seeking God, listening to God…following God…moving toward God…pursuing God…chasing after God…and most importantly praising God!

In 1 Samuel, David and his fighting men had been hiding in the cave of Adullam. He was fleeing Saul. Many of life’s down-and-out had come and joined David’s army. David was content to stay in the stronghold of safety. Then, God’s prophet came to David and told him that he must leave the stronghold and go into the land of Judah.

When life beats down on us and we get to the place where we want to hide in a cave, God often places people around us who prod us into moving in the right direction. He does not want us to remain in the place of discouragement. He wants us to move into the land of “praise.” Judah means “praise.”

I recall when I went through a very difficult time. It seemed to drag on and on with no change until finally I wanted to retreat to a cave and forget pressing on. It was a great time of discouragement. A godly man came to me and said, “You must keep moving! There are too many who are depending on you..now and in the future.” I didn’t totally understand what he meant at the time. Now I know he was saying that God is preparing each of us to be the vessel He wants to use in the life of another person, but we will never be that vessel if we give up and hide in our cave of discouragement. Not only must we keep moving, we must move into a new realm. Our attitude must move from discouragement to praise. It is when we move past discouragement to praise that we begin living above our problems. Make a decision today to go into the land of Judah.

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Stand By Me, You, Somebody

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

Take a look at that first verse again; “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. It says “never”. That has been a tough one for me at times; admittedly, there have been times when I have been unhappy, sad, hurt, discouraged, dissapointed, disillusioned, afraid, lonely, or angry, and I have felt like God had foresaken me. But, without fail and at just the right time God always shows up! Oftentimes, he shows up in the form of a friend or family member, who knows just what I need, or don’t need.

Sometimes in life we just need someone to stand by us, not to do anything specifically, but just to know that they beleive in us and are willing to stand by us and with us. Do you have a friend or family member like that? I pray you do, and If so, I hope you recognize and acknowledge how blessed and fortunate you are. If you don’t, I pray God will meet that need; send you that special someone to stand by you, love you, and encourage you. I want you to pray for that too, then have faith and believe that God will help you find that “friend that sticks closer than a brother”.

Secondly, and just as important, I hope you will take the time to be that friend for someone else in their time of need…because no matter who we are or where we go…at some point we all need somebody to standy us. Do this and I know you will be happy in life and at work.

Playing For Change: Song Around the World “Stand By Me” from Playing For Change on Vimeo.

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What Are You Unwrapping This Christmas?

Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

I want to use the greatest story ever told, the Christmas story, the story of the birth of Jesus, to illustrate how anyone who is fearful, lonely, or desperate can find real hope, comfort, peace, healing, joy and satisfaction in life.

Can you imagine being Mary? If there was ever anyone who had reason to be fearful, lonely and desperate, it was Mary.  Think about it; she found herself in the middle of some very tough circumstances she did not plan on (unplanned pregnancy), she was very young, very poor, and she was unwed.  She was truly an outcast, wanted and loved only by Joeseph (and he himself was unsure about sticking around); from Maty’s perspective, the future looked very bleak and dark.  Luke 1:29 tells us that she was “greatly troubled”. 

But, everything changed for Mary, didn’t it?  Why did things change for Mary?  This is what is important for us to understand.

Things changed for Mary when God sent the angel Gabriel to visit her.  Gabriel “went to her and said, “Greetings you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”  He then comforted her and set her at ease when he compassionatley said, ”Do not be afraid Mary, you have found favor with God.” 

Gabriel then went on to explain to her that she was going to be the mother of Jesus, ”the Son of the Most High”.  At this point Mary was still uncertain about all this.  Although Gabriel had her attention and she was pleased to hear that, even in her condition and circumstances, God valued and favored her, she knew she was a virgin, and in her human understanding she wasn’t quite ready to believe what she was hearing.

So she did what any of us would do, she asked Gabriel “How will this be?”.  Gabriel responded by saying, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.”  He also told her that “nothing is impossible with God.”

It was then that it happened; Mary made the decsion to submit to God’s plan for her life.  She boldly says to Gabriel, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said.”  Mary responded to the love and power of God.  She repsonded to the “gift” that was the miracle of Christmas; the one miracle that all other miracles flow from.  Mary decided to unwrap the gift of God for her Christams.  Mary beleived and trusted God in the midst of what seemed like an impossible set of circumstances. She trusted God to move her from uncertainty and darkness to life and light, and boy did God deliver.  Look what Mary says about God her savior:

 “My soul glorifies the Lord 
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful 
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed, 
for the Mighty One has done great things for me— 
holy is his name.”   (Luke 1:46-49)

So, the questions for us this Christmas are:

  • Will we decide to open the gift of God for our Christmas?  How will we respond to God?
  • What are we trusting God for…what miracle do we need?
  • Will we trust him to move us from a future of uncertainty and darkness to a future of life and light, a future of real hope, peace, healing, joy and happiness in life and at work.

Let me know what you decide, and God bless you and your family this Christmas!

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He Throws His Arms Around You

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Have you ever lost your way; I know I have. Sometimes it is difficult to see and understand who your real friends are and who truly loves you. We can easily become depressed, discouraged, disillusioned, and not know how to find our way back to center. If this is where you are or if you ever get there, just remember that our heavenly father is always there waiting for us to turn our hearts back toward him and return home.

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20 from the story of the prodigal son)

You see God knows the world can be a tough place, he sees us struggling to live on our own with out him, he knows we are “only human” and has great compassion for us.  He wants and has so much more in store for us! His love is amazing, and he will never leave us nor forsake us. We just need to recognize our need for him, turn, and run into his arms.   When we do, we will be happy in life and at work because only he satisfies!

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Know Who The Enemy Is

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

(The following was inspired and taken from a message Craig Parker, my wonderful pastor at Bridgeway Community Church in Fishers, IN. delivered on 9-19-10.)

If you are married, or have been in a relationship, you know that there are times when it seems that the very person you love dearly, and who you believe dearly loves you, seems like your biggest and worst enemy. But is that really the truth, or are we being deceived into thinking that by a very powerful, scheming enemy who would like nothing more than to take us out and prevent us from enjoying a loving and intimate relationship.

When we marry we enter, mostly unknowingly, into the minefields; the minefields include the relational minefield, the financial minefield, the emotional minefield, the medical minefield, the vocational minefield, the parental minefield, and the the spiritual minefield. These are areas of life where issues, challenges, and differences can crop up and derail any relationship.

What happens is simple yet can be very destructive. The issue arises and statements, thoughts, and opinions are expressed and shared. The words we use are often based on feelings not facts, we assume the worst in the other person instead of the best, and before we know it we are fighting one another instead of the real enemy. Why…because the enemy whispers in our ear lies, and we begin to think things like he/she always does this and he/she will never change. Then we begin to reason, as though we are God, that we know why the other person does what they do. The next thing you know you and the someone you love are in a knock-down-drag-out fight and don’t even know why. And worse, you don’t know how to stop and fix it. Allow this to happen enough, and the relationship is in real serious trouble.

So who is the real enemy? And, just as important, who is our real friend and advocate?

The Bible is clear on both of these points. Satan is described as the enemy or the thief, while Jesus is described as our shepherd and our saviour. And on this topic John 10:10 provides us a very clear exhortation:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

So how are we to respond so that we can save our marriages and the other relationships we have with those we love and care about.

First, understand that this is serious business and that the enemy is very powerful and cunning; you are up against a serious threat! His purpose is to destroy your marriage and relationships, send you into an emotional downward spiral, and steal any hope you have for peace and joy in your life.

Second, know, believe, and hold on to the fact that your spouse or other person is not the enemy. The enemy wants us to fight one another, not him. He knows that if we stand together, don’t buy into his lies, and ally against him with the weapons God provides us, he will be defeated.

Lastly, apply the wepons God has provided and instructs us to us in this “spiritual battle” against the enemy. In Ephesians 6:10-18, God calls us to:

“be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

So, the next time you find yourself in a battle with your spouse or someone you love and care for, stop and remember you can’t fight your way out of a spiritual battle…you must pray your way out…together. As we say amen at the end of our prayer(s), we are saying “we agree”! That is very powerful, and scares the enemy, as he knows he is powerless against those who stand together in the name of the Lord!

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19-20)

If my words of encouragement didn’t impact you, perhaps this musical video will help you and those you love go dancing in the minefields. My hope is that you will put on the full armor of God and battle the enemy together, because I know it will help you be happy in life and at work. God’s Peace…

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Refuge When The Storm Comes

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

I love the sunshine! Who doesn’t? But, the reality is sometimes it rains…on all of us; But unlike the weather, we seldom receive a forecast for the the rain and storms of life. We can basking in the sunshine of life and wham, next thing we know we are in the middle of a raging storm complete with torrential rain, strong winds, booming thunder, and frieghtening bolts of lightening. We can go from feeling happy and safe to being lost, confused, sad, hurt, angry, or bitter. The storms of life can really knock us off course, and in some cases make us fear that we will never be able to find our way back home.

When this happens, how do we weather the storm? How do we maintain our bearings? How do we make it back home safely? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I hope this video will provide you with a better understanding of the storms in your life and offer you encouragement that, even in the worst of storms, there is a way to get back home safely.

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