Posts Tagged ‘Happy Family’

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Know Who The Enemy Is

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

(The following was inspired and taken from a message Craig Parker, my wonderful pastor at Bridgeway Community Church in Fishers, IN. delivered on 9-19-10.)

If you are married, or have been in a relationship, you know that there are times when it seems that the very person you love dearly, and who you believe dearly loves you, seems like your biggest and worst enemy. But is that really the truth, or are we being deceived into thinking that by a very powerful, scheming enemy who would like nothing more than to take us out and prevent us from enjoying a loving and intimate relationship.

When we marry we enter, mostly unknowingly, into the minefields; the minefields include the relational minefield, the financial minefield, the emotional minefield, the medical minefield, the vocational minefield, the parental minefield, and the the spiritual minefield. These are areas of life where issues, challenges, and differences can crop up and derail any relationship.

What happens is simple yet can be very destructive. The issue arises and statements, thoughts, and opinions are expressed and shared. The words we use are often based on feelings not facts, we assume the worst in the other person instead of the best, and before we know it we are fighting one another instead of the real enemy. Why…because the enemy whispers in our ear lies, and we begin to think things like he/she always does this and he/she will never change. Then we begin to reason, as though we are God, that we know why the other person does what they do. The next thing you know you and the someone you love are in a knock-down-drag-out fight and don’t even know why. And worse, you don’t know how to stop and fix it. Allow this to happen enough, and the relationship is in real serious trouble.

So who is the real enemy? And, just as important, who is our real friend and advocate?

The Bible is clear on both of these points. Satan is described as the enemy or the thief, while Jesus is described as our shepherd and our saviour. And on this topic John 10:10 provides us a very clear exhortation:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

So how are we to respond so that we can save our marriages and the other relationships we have with those we love and care about.

First, understand that this is serious business and that the enemy is very powerful and cunning; you are up against a serious threat! His purpose is to destroy your marriage and relationships, send you into an emotional downward spiral, and steal any hope you have for peace and joy in your life.

Second, know, believe, and hold on to the fact that your spouse or other person is not the enemy. The enemy wants us to fight one another, not him. He knows that if we stand together, don’t buy into his lies, and ally against him with the weapons God provides us, he will be defeated.

Lastly, apply the wepons God has provided and instructs us to us in this “spiritual battle” against the enemy. In Ephesians 6:10-18, God calls us to:

“be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

So, the next time you find yourself in a battle with your spouse or someone you love and care for, stop and remember you can’t fight your way out of a spiritual battle…you must pray your way out…together. As we say amen at the end of our prayer(s), we are saying “we agree”! That is very powerful, and scares the enemy, as he knows he is powerless against those who stand together in the name of the Lord!

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:19-20)

If my words of encouragement didn’t impact you, perhaps this musical video will help you and those you love go dancing in the minefields. My hope is that you will put on the full armor of God and battle the enemy together, because I know it will help you be happy in life and at work. God’s Peace…

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Perspective

Friday, September 17th, 2010

Sometime being happy and content in life and at work is simply a matter of perspective.  Growing up, and even after a I reached the age where I was considered a young man, when I would whine or complain about anything to do with my circumstances or feeling like I was being treated unfairly, my dad would remind me that “no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone who has it worse.”  My dad would then suggest I look around for one of those “someones” first to understand that I did not really have it nearly as bad as I thought I did, and second, to reach out and do something to help them.  I can remember this having a great impact on my life, and today when I feel the most energized, the most alive, like God is giving me strength, the happiest in life or at work is when I am serving others.

Philippians 4:11-13 describes it this way…

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

I hope you will watch this video, think about Philippians 4:11-13, remember my dad’s words, and be compelled to be a blessing to someone else today and everyday.  If you do this, I know you will be happy in life and at work!

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You Were Meant To Be

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

I had lunch with someone I love today; a very special person who has been through a very difficult stretch of life over the last 18 months or so. She is a single mom. Her kids are 18, 12, and 8 years old. She and her three kids were all but abandoned by her ex-husband. He has continued to be engaged with her younger kids to some extent, but for some reason has chosen to remain very distant from her 18 year old son (I’ll call him Bobby). As you can imagine, this has affected Bobby greatly. He has experienced much pain and struggled to make sense of all that has happened in his life over the last two years. At a time when he expected and really needs his dad as a significant strong role model to finish raising him, affirming him as a young man, and releasing him as mighty man of God to be who God has purposed him to be, his dad has all but disowned him. Bobby, although he has experienced some victories and joy recently, has struggled to believe he is valued, to figure out his place in this world, to succeed in school, to stay out of trouble, and to see his future as anything but uncertain.

That mat have changed today! I beleive God has answered prayer and intervened for Bobby. He recently took a career assesment test and met with the career counselor for the results today. For the first time in a very long time, Bobby is beginning to beleive what the Bible tells us about about how God feels about all of us.

God tells us very clearly that we are his sons and daughters and that he loves all of us and has a good and perfect plan for our lives. He tells us that we have been fearfully and wonderfully made; knit perfectly in our mother’s womb! He tells that no matter what he will never leave us nor forsake us! God tells us that we are more than conquerors, and that all things are possible with him! He tells us that he knows every hair on our head! God has created us all, given us all life, you, me, and Bobby! he has a very special purpose for each of us, and has given us very different but wonderful gifts to use for this very special purpose.

Bobby had an “aah ha moment” today, as he began to see and hear from God what his spiritual gifts are and how God can use him and those gifts to serve others and make a future for himself and the family he will have one day. Suddenly Bobby has hope and sees a certain future; God has made him a new creation, and Bobby can see that throughout this time of difficulty God has been right there, in fact, if you look real close, you can see the fingerprints of God all over Bobby.

I imagine that many of you are facing some of the very things Bobby has been facing and struggling with. My hope is that you will know that God loves you, created you with a wonderful purpose and the gifts to accomplish that purpose, and wants more than anything for you to discover what that purpose is and use it to serve others and him every day. I encourage and exhort you to turn to God in prayer, tell him you are tired struggling and striving to blaze your own trail and do what you think is best, tell him that you want to discover his perfect purpose for your life and use your special gifts to serve him, ask him to reveal that to you, allow him to put his fingerprints all over you! You might be surprised, and it might seem crazy, but please trust him and follow his direction…I know if you do you will be Happy in Life and at Work!

To help get you started and excited about knowing that You Were Meant To Be, I have included a great song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled “Meant to Be”. It was recorded specially for Veggie Tales, but is very applicable to all of us, regardless of age. Enjoy!

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Kindness

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

One sure way to be happy in life and at work is show others kindness. It is amazing how much good it does us to show others kindness. I know we all are capable of this because we all do it some of the time, and when we do show another a genuine act of kindness , it always makes us feel all good and happy inside. The challenge for all of us, including me, is to be that kind, giving, caring, unselfish person all the time. I think the following words of encouragement can help me and you do that…

Chuck Swindoll writes:

In our pocket of society where, relatively speaking, pampered affluence is rampant, we are often at a loss to know what kind of gifts to buy our friends and loved ones on special occasions. For some people (especially those who “have everything”), the standard gift won’t cut it. Nothing in the shopping mall catches our fancy.

I have a suggestion. It may not seem that expensive or sound very novel, but believe me, it works every time. It’s one of those gifts that has great value but no price tag. It can’t be lost nor will it ever be forgotten. No problem with size, either. It fits all shapes, any age, and every personality. This ideal gift is . . . yourself. Don’t forget the unusual value of kindness. That’s right, give some of yourself away:

• Give an hour of your time to someone who needs you.
• Give a note of encouragement to someone feeling down.
• Give a hug of affirmation to someone in your family.
• Give some time to someone who is lonely.
• Give a meal to someone who is sick.
• Give a word of compassion to someone who has suffered a loss.
• Give a second chance to the fallen.
• Give a deed of thoughtfulness to someone who is often overlooked.
• Give a gentle response to the frustrated.

In the words of Ephesians 4:32, be kind. My sister Luci paraphrases this verse, “Just be nice.”
Covering all the one another commands of the Bible (and there’s a lot of them!) is the umbrella of kindness. Kindness braids mercy and grace, humility and gentleness all together. Kindness gives grace, requires humility, and asks that we think of others before ourselves.

Ever notice that kindness is most appreciated when life has gone sideways? When you’re having “one of those days,” kindness speaks that thoughtful word and draws you back like a lifeline.
Who should the world look to as a model of kindness but the body of Christ? Unfortunately, ask the man on the street how he would describe the Christians he knows and I dare say kind would not be his first or even his second response. I say we change that.

Kindness is something you and I can do today. A gentle response. Being the first to forgive. Giving the gift of time, compassion, and thoughtfulness. In ordinary ways, we can give ourselves away and, by doing so, model God’s agape love. Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-”Love is kind.”

Look for ways today to give ordinary kindness, and you’ll find there’s nothing ordinary about it. And, you will be happy in life and at work!

Taken from Charles R. Swindoll, “The Gift for the Person Who Has Everything,” Insights (June 2001): 1-2. Copyright © 2001 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

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12 Practical Steps To Living A Happy Life At Home And At Work

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

We have all heard people say that “the world’s a tough place” or “it’s a dog-eat-dog world”, and maybe those folks are right.  But, I believe living a happy life at home and at work is still very possible.  I have spoken to many folks and ask them “are you happy”.  If they say yes, I ask why.  If they say “not really” or “not totally”, I ask why.  After listening to literally hundreds of responses, I thought it might be helpful to craft a list a list of practical steps or principles one can use to get and stay on a path to living a happier life at home and at work.  Here it is:

  1. Be purposseful about finding pleasure in the simple things in life…at home and at work.
  2. Make the best of your circumstances; no one has everything, and everyone has something.  You will experience joy intermingled with sorrow; allow laughter to outweigh the tears!
  3. Don’t take yourself too seriously; but take serving and being kind to others very seriously.
  4. Understand that you can’t please everyone, so don’t let criticism worry you.
  5. Don’t allow the world to set the standard for you.  God says simply, be holy because I am holy.  Let God’s standard guide your thoughts, words, choices, and actions.
  6. Pursue your dream(s); the things that energize you…but stay out of debt.
  7. Never borrow trouble; imaginary trials are much harder to bear than real ones.
  8. Jealousy, gossip, and hate can poison the heart and soul; don’t practice any of these and avoid those who do.
  9. Always continue to learn and grow personally, professionally, and spiritually; read, pray, travel, and participate in many activities and interests.
  10. Don’t hold postmortems; don’t brood over sorrows, regrets, or mistakes.  Pray and move your feet!
  11. Be a humble, obedient servant; use all that God has blessed you with to be a blessing to those less fortunate.
  12. Take care of yourself; maintain a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get the rest you need.

Give it a try; invite your family and work associates to join you.  Practice these practical steps and start living a happier life at home and at work.

God’s peace…

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Rebuild Restore Renew Rejoice

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

MiraclesIf you are unhappy, lonely, feeling down, discouraged, depressed, or disillusioned, I encourage you to please read and meditate on these words…God breathed through the prophet Isaiah. If you will take the time to do so, you will begin to feel restored, refreshed, and recharged. Whatever has happened, or is happening in your life to cause you to lose hope, God wants to change that. he wants to fill you with his spirit, the Holy Spirit, the spirit of life, joy, and peace. He wants to rebuild, restore, and renew your life as only he can do, and then he wants you to rejoice and be happy in life and at work!

The Year of the LORD’s Favor – Isaiah 61

renew1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

ruins4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

rainbow8 “For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”

10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

renew11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

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The Frantic Family

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

The family is the most important institution and organization in the world today.  As the health of our families have declined, so has our society.  Today most families are chaotic, scattered, disorganized, frantic, confused and stressful.  Does this sound familiar to you?  Be honest.  I know it does to me.  The result of this is a structureless, directionless, and dare I say unhappy family.  A family where no one really knows one another intimately because we never have or take the time to communicate about dreams, goals, priorities, victories, failures, challenges, or feelings.

Families are very important.  Families are important to our society and world.  And, families are very important to God; he created them with a purpose, to provide for many of the personal, physical, and spiritual needs we all have.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  (Genesis 2:24)

So, what can we all do to do create a healthy family?  Put simply, stop the insanity.  Literally stop, come together and talk to one another.  Talk to one another about who we are as family, what makes us unique and special, what is important to us as a family, what we can do together, how we can live our family life to the fullest, etc.

I beleive that, if we would all be very intentional and purposeful in doing this we would have a chance to create a happy, healthy, full family life.  And let’s face it, a happy family life can lead to a happy work life!

I was recently introduce to a great book that I believe can help us all accomplish this.  The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family, by Patrick Lencioni, is written as a fable, using realistic and humorous characters and plot lines that will keep you turning pages with anticipation while you’re learning how to bring sanity to your family life. And you’ll be amazed how just a little bit of structure and a few minutes of follow-through each week can make the difference between stressful chaos and fulfillment at home.  I encourage you to read it with your spouse and talk about how the ideas Lencioni introduces might help you be happy in life and at work.

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Happiness – It Just Takes A Moment

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God.

Follow these words of wisdom and you will be happy in life and at work!

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Brokenness Then Newness

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

As Good Friday and Easter appraoch, I thought it would be good to examine what Jesus taught us about brokenness and renewal.

“And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” Then He took the cup, and when He had given thanks He gave it to them, and they all drank from it. And He said to them, “This is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many” (Mark 14:22-24)

Years ago, I learned a simple lesson that I pray will help you today. If you or I want to be blessed, contented, or encouraged, we first need to be broken.

Earlier, in Mark chapter 6, Jesus fed the five thousand; He broke the bread and blessed it, and the disciples distributed the food to everyone. This breaking, blessing, and distributing of bread brought life. And now, Jesus is taking the bread and breaking it as a symbol of His imminent death; a symbol that still resonates in our lives to this day when we take communion. Before blessing comes brokenness. It was that way in Jesus’ life and it will sometimes be that way in my life and in your life.

Brokenness hurts. Trials are no fun; trust me, I know. But in our broken and difficult times, God reveals himself to you and me in wonderful, powerful ways; ways that you wouldn’t otherwise see. He wants to teach us things beyond our imagination. He wants to show us how to live and what it means to live by faith; trusting fully in him. Guess what happens when you break in a horse? Yep, you got it. Among many things, that horse becomes your companion, useful for so many things. Now, I’m not saying that you all are horses, but I think you get the picture.

The brokenness of Jesus brought about eternal life! Any amount of brokenness you or I experience cannot compare to his brokenness and awesome sacrifice for our sins. So, I encourage you to look at the trials and brokenness that comes your way differently; don’t ask “why”, instead ask “What does God want to teach me?” Open your heart to him and to learning and growing from the trials and times of brokenness that come your way. God will doing amazing things in your life. Draw closer to him and allow him to draw closer to you; experience and embrace those broken times and be ready for the blessings to flow. When you do this, you will be happy in life and at work!

I hope these scriptures will be an encouragement to you:

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart; these, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

“The Lord is close to the broken hearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

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Hammer and The Chisel

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

“A sculptor does not use a ‘manicure set’ to reduce the crude, unshapely marble to a thing of beauty. The saw, the hammer and the chisel are cruel tools, but without them the rough stone must remain forever formless and unbeautiful. To do His supreme work of grace within you, God will take from your heart everything you love most. Everything you trust in will go from you. Piles of ashes will lie where your most precious treasures used to be!” (A.W.Tozer)

I love this Tozer quote which is used in the opening monologue of the movie the Heart Of Texas”. Today’s thought is not about this movie, but I would highly reccomend seeing it; to see a promo, click hear.

Now, back to the message for this post…

How do you respond when your husband or wife, friends or family trample your emotions? When your child rebels? When you lose a big deal or important client? When your boss fires you unexpectedly? In this very difficult economy, you may have lost thousands in savings or in the value of your 401K or other investments? When disappointments like these smash into your life, you may want to scream, “How could God allow this to happen?”

But, what if God didn’t just “let it happen?” What if the things you treasure the most and hold on to the tightest are damaged or destroyed? What if what you call disappointments are really God’s appointments? What if like a skilled sculptor, He is using your disappointments like the sculptor’s hammer and chisel to chop and carve away the undesirable elements in your life, leaving you pure and radiant…His beautiful masterpiece?

Life’s disappointments can destroy you, or you can become stronger because of them. The dangerous spiral of disappointments can lead to discouragement, disillusionment, depression or even despair. But you can learn to break that cycle and embrace the disappointment and trails with a faith that recognizes that they are the hammer and chisel God uses to make you a reflection of Him. We can follow the selfish course of our natural reactions and be subtly trapped in a downward spiral that swiftly leads into depression and discouragement. Or, we can take those trials and count them all joy, knowing that our faith and endurance will be strengthened. Our disappointments are the stone that God will use to sculpt us as a sculptor would his rough stone. If we respond by taking the steps of trust, obedience and relying on His grace , we will discover that we are being sculpted into His masterpiece that reflects the radiance of His image and character. Knowing this, today as you face those trials or are in the pit of despair, what will be your decision? To continue on that road of despair, or make the turn and trust Him and His grace?

I offer these scriptures to encourage you:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”(James 1:2-4)

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”              (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”(Romans 8:28-29)

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